


Brink

by rabiddog



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Hurt Kageyama Tobio, Kageyama Tobio Angst, Kageyama Tobio Needs a Hug, Kageyama Tobio-centric, Winged Kageyama Tobio
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-03
Updated: 2020-09-08
Packaged: 2021-03-06 21:54:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,849
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26275969
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rabiddog/pseuds/rabiddog
Summary: Kageyama had tried his best to care for his wings, but eventually he just... gave up. What was the point when he had other things to focus on that were more important, like volleyball?It wasn't like they were going to fall off or anything.
Relationships: Iwaizumi Hajime & Kageyama Tobio, Kageyama Kazuyo & Kageyama Tobio, Kageyama Tobio & Karasuno Volleyball Club, Kageyama Tobio & Tsukishima Kei, Kageyama Tobio & Ukai Keishin, Kageyama Tobio & Yamaguchi Tadashi
Comments: 26
Kudos: 299





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> credit for the winged AU goes to Craziiwolf, who came up with the original

Kageyama's wings had always been pristine. Ever since the day he'd been born - they'd unfurled for that very first time, practically immaculate already. With the smoothest, glossiest black feathers that shimmered under the sun: Tobio was beautiful. 

His family was envious, most of them, at least. He was ogled and gawked at; every conversation topic was almost always about his wings, (or the person he was speaking to would manage to slip in a comment about them somehow). 

While he appreciated the endless rush of compliments and praise, it eventually began to significantly weigh down on him as he grew up amongst other peers. 

His friends were jealous... to say the least. A sneer almost permanently etched onto their faces whenever he let his wings curve around him, or whenever a teacher would come over to compliment him on them. It was unfair how they'd grow angry at Tobio for something that wasn't even his fault. It wasn't like he'd asked to be born with wings like that, was it? 

Crippling jealousy and being the constant talk of the town had Kageyama turning to binders and compression shirts for the tiniest bit of peace. 

He still kept his wings as pristine as ever; how could he not? Tobio still groomed out stray, loose feathers whenever he happened to find them, and he applied oil each night and morning to ensure they kept their shine, but he no longer let them out in public. It was rare that his family saw them nowadays. 

Fear of being outcasted was Tobio's main reason for keeping his proudest body parts hidden away, but there wasn't much else he could do if he wanted to keep his friends. It was an unfair and unjust solution, but it worked either way. 

Eventually, his classmates started gravitating to him a little more: including him in conversations and inviting him out on the weekends to see a movie. It was nice; it was. 

The ever-present regret for keeping his wings away was gnawing away at him bit by bit, but he ultimately pushed it down. 

Kageyama didn't need wings if it meant keeping his friends by his sides.

* * *

Tobio's binding carried on all the way into middle school, and then onwards. It had become a habit, more than anything. An instinct to slip on his binder or a compressor shit first thing in the morning. Now, he didn't sleep in them, he wasn't _completely_ insane, and he wasn't looking to damage his wings and ribs permanently, but still. 

If he was honest, it just felt wrong not to have his wings snug against his back. When they were unfurled, on the rare occasion that was, it felt... wrong. Harmful in a way that made Kageyama's skin tingle uncomfortably, and his anxiety rose to a new height. 

He didn't know when it had happened, but he'd grown scared of having his wings out at all, even just to groom them when he was home alone, and his teammates at Kitagawa Daiichi had begun to take notice. 

Iwaizumi hadn't been the first to notice how Tobio never let his wings out, but he was the first and only one who had bothered asking. 

_"Kageyama?" Iwaizumi's voice rang out through the empty locker room, loud and surprising enough to make the first-year jump._

_He slowly turned around, hands clutching onto the backpack held at his front. "Yes, Iwaizumi-san?" He nodded politely, a slight downturn to his lips going along with his confused tone._

_This had certainly never happened before. Of course, Tobio had spoken to Iwaizumi before, mainly when he tried to convince Oikawa to teach him his jump serve, but they'd never spoken alone like this. Not after practice in a sweat-lined locker-room._

_His senior seemed to sigh, before moving closer towards Kageyama with deliberate steps. Hajime seemed to be observing his kohai, his hands twitching at his sides, and his large, almost imposing wings held up slightly._

_It wasn't unusual for whoever was older to puff up slightly, while the younger let their wings droop in a sign of submission. Although this obviously wasn't the case for Kageyama and Iwaizumi, seeing as the raven-head still had yet to take his wings from his binder._

_"You don't have your wings out." Iwaizumi observed after a moment's thought, head slightly tilted to the side. There was an almost irritated expression on his face, and Kageyama wondered what had made him so annoyed already, (it was likely Oikawa's fault, honestly)._

_Tobio nodded. "I know."_

_The short, almost blunt response apparently only made his senpai worry more; the frown on Iwaizumi's face was deepening, and he let out a soft huff of air._

_"Isn't that... uncomfortable? I don't think anyone on the team has ever seen you with your wings out. I know I certainly haven't." Honestly, Hajime had watched Kageyama a lot. It was hard to keep your eyes off the young setter when you really saw what he could do. It wasn't an infatuation, just a whole lot of curiosity._

_Tobio thought on it for a moment. "No, not really. I'm used to it by now." He sent a slight nod and a bow to the older boy, before gently sidestepping him, not wanting to stay in the uncomfortable atmosphere for any longer. "I have to get home now, Iwaizumi-san, my grandpa needs me."_

_While he could definitely sense the stares, Kageyama was never directly cornered by Iwaizumi again. Not once._

* * *

Even though Tobio hadn't let his wings properly develop and grow, he usually made sure to keep up with their care. Or he'd at least tried to. His grandpa had always been reminding him how important it was to keep his wings in tip-top shape, even if he wasn't going to be using them, so Kageyama had complied. 

At least once a week, he'd apply his oils, and he'd make sure to brush through his feathers every other day or so. While he didn't let them out often, it still felt nice knowing that they were somewhat tamed down. 

And all through this, despite the slight neglect and the constant binding, his raven wings were as sleek and soft as ever. 

Or they had been, at least. 

Halfway through Kageyama's last year at Kitagawa Daiichi, his grandpa had just unexpectedly passed away. There had been no real explanation to it; in the end, he was just... gone. Off in the wind; up in the heavens, whatever. It was all the same. He was gone, and he'd left Kageyama alone. 

Of course, Tobio had his sister, or he had at first, but she'd shipped herself off to college as soon as possible, choosing to stay on campus than at their home back in Miyagi. 

It hadn't been a big deal at first; Kageyama knew well enough how to look after himself and budget properly, but the recent death had put such a strain on him that he felt as if he was carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders. 

His attitude to his teammates slowly worsened as the weeks went on, his mood souring, and causing a rift within the volleyball club. Tobio didn't pay any attention to it, though; why did he care? He just needed to practice, practice, practice. He needed to get better. He needed to prove to his grandpa than he was more than just an average setter. 

While Tobio's new, fiercer attitude towards volleyball was definitely improving and honing his skills, it was also causing him to neglect the care he usually provided for his wings, even more so than usual. 

Brushing out his feathers every few days eventually turned to once a week, and then to once every _few_ weeks, until it was barely scraping once a month. His special oils had been thrown away after they'd been taking too much space in his cupboard, and Kageyama didn't even bother taking his binder off anymore unless it was to wash it. 

The haunting fact that these neglectful actions were severely damaging his once incredible wings barely bothered Kageyama anymore. Volleyball was what was most important to him; his wings didn't matter.

* * *

Kageyama kept that harmful mindset going right through his last year of middle school and up to high school. 

Even with a new team and a whole new life at Karasuno, Tobio still couldn't find it in him to care for his wings any more than he did (which was the occasional brush once every few months with strictly no more oils). The whole careful act reminded him far too much of everything he'd lost, from his grandpa to the friends he'd made at Kitagawa Daiichi. Kageyama absolutely hated remembering things like that, so he just... didn't. 

Blissful ignorance was what kept the raven-head going on through each day. Ignoring the pain and ache in his wings had almost become second nature to him, and he didn't even bat an eye when his wing joints gave slight spasms under his binder and added a compression shirt. 

Kageyama was sure that he had gotten used to the pain as a whole, so it was slightly surprising when an unbearable heat began to spread across his back during practice. He took in a breath and then slowly exhaled; the pain only seems to worsen, and he stepped back from the net. 

It was taking everything in him to move away from the ongoing match, almost stumbling over his own two feet as he headed towards their team captain. 

The team was currently playing a three on three (or a three on two, now that Kageyama had made his stumbling exit), so it left a few of his teammates ambling around the sidelines and talking amongst themselves. 

"Daichi?" Tobio called out quietly, internally groaning at the way his voice came out all scratchy and hesitant. He hated sounding weak, but here he was. It wasn't like he could turn back time now. 

His captain immediately snapped his head towards Kageyama, concern shining in his brown eyes, and he nodded. "Kageyama? Are you alright?" 

Tobio was quiet for just a second before he nodded. "Yes." He hummed through gritted teeth. "I'm just going to the bathroom. I'll only be a second. 

Kageyama bowed slightly before making a sudden exit, doing his best not to let a pained expression show on his face. It wasn't like he didn't trust his team to help take care of him; he just... didn't want to bother them. Plus, everything should be fine; he probably only needed to let his wings unfurl for a minute or so. 

Getting to the club bathroom was easy enough, with only a few small grunts leaving him. Taking his binder and shirt off was a whole other problem. 

The pain only seemed to be amplifying as Tobio lifted up his arms and began to unpeel the tight garments. Each brush of soft material against his back seemed to send a lightning bolt of seething agony across Kageyama's skin. He wasn't one to admit, but goddamn did this hurt. 

Finally managing to pull off the constricting material, Tobio let out a relieved breath, almost unaware of the door opening and a heavy thump hitting the ground behind him. 

Kageyama didn't know if it was his scream or the stranger's as they both seemed to notice the motion of a rotting wing sprawling across the smooth floor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CC: [Curious Cat](https://curiouscat.me/rabiddogs)  
> Twitter: [Wilbyz](https://twitter.com/wiIbyz)


	2. Chapter 2

Kageyama's body dropped just after the rotting wing had. He fell in a rather undignified slump against the cold and unforgiving bathroom tiles, his dark eyes wide and unnoticing as they stared blankly upwards. What- What was going on? Everything hurt. Everything was on fire. 

Tobio's whole, shaking form felt as if it was burning from the inside out, a slow-moving fire licking at his soft and tender insides just to sear them black. It hurt. Why was it hurting this much? Could he move? Could he even get up? 

With a raspy breath, Kageyama tried to push himself upwards on shaky limbs, only managing a slight elevation before he was tumbling back again. Hard tiles shoved against a rotten stump of flesh and left Kageyama hissing through clenched teeth. 

Pearly whites sunk into his plump and pink lower lip as he slowly tried to make another ascent, before abruptly stopping as he was filled with a deadly familiarity. 

There it was again. That intense pain that was making him feel as if he had no control over himself whatsoever. A problem that had him spiraling and screaming for somebody to help. It was the type of pain that was all-consuming and left nothing alive in its wake. The sheer force of its overwhelming presence was bringing Tobio to tears, and quickly at that. 

"Please-" He rasped breathlessly; hazy gaze flicking over to the lone figure stood in the doorway. 

Whoever it was, they hadn't moved yet - seemingly as still as a stone statue as they chose just to stare onwards. Tobio didn't even _care_ who they were at this point, be it Hinata or Tsukishima; he just needed them to help. He needed them to make him feel better again because he really didn't think he could go on with all of this searing agony. 

"Please." The raven-head tried again, voice a little clearer this time, although still strained and weak. However, it seemed to do the trick as the onlooker snapped out of their stupor, surging forwards in a rush of shouts and feathers. 

Kageyama didn't manage to stay awake long enough to figure out who it was.

* * *

With a hearty groan, Tobio woke up again to the sound of a slow, consistent beeping and the hint of quiet murmuring. Coming back to the living land had been a grueling and laborious task, yet here Kageyama was. He couldn't quite work out what the people were saying yet either, only grasping onto a few certain phrases like, _'Couldn't save it,' 'too rotted,' 'unsalvageable.'_

While it was nice to hear somewhat familiar voices, the words they'd been whispering hadn't sounded reassuring at all... it honestly sounded like he'd- he'd lost his wings. Or perhaps just one of them? Is that even allowed? 

Tobio gave a soft grunt as he finally forced his dull eyes open, a hopeful expression on his face despite everything. However, it quickly receded as he was almost blinded (for just a single, fleeting moment, he thought that he'd finally reached the pearly gates of heaven, although that thought was quickly squashed). 

Even the dimmed downlight in the hospital room was far too bright for Kageyama's sensitive vision. The headache he'd been steadily ignoring as he lay there was coming back in full force, hitting him like a mighty tidal wave. Just his luck, of course. 

Couldn't he have a moment of reprieve? 

Apparently not, because as soon as another pained grunt left his lips, the murmuring halted immediately, and Kageyama could see a few different people begin to crowd around him. One of them was clearly a doctor: dressed up in a white coat and holding a chart of sorts. Tobio should probably focus on them, seeing as their lips were moving with an expression that held importance. Whatever. He'd pay attention later. 

Tobio's gaze slowly drifted to his right side, where a rather pale Ukai was stood, gently fisting at the sheets covering Kageyama's prone form. For the first time, the older blonde looked genuinely scared. 

Tobio soon decided then and there, that he didn't like the expression on his coach's face. He hoped that Ukai never had to look so afraid again. 

"I-" Tobio tried to start after a few moments of merely watching the adults, his voice croaky and far too scratchy to be legible. It was basically just mumbling, but he soon had the rim of a plastic cup being pressed against his dry lips, which helped immensely. 

"I don't understand what's going on." The raven-head finally got out, glancing between the two men with little speed. 

A pause, and then finally; 

"Tobio." The doctor started, a soft sigh leaving his lips as he took a glance down towards the patient's chart. "You were brought in a few hours ago after collapsing in the gym bathroom." He looked towards Kageyama, "Do you remember this?" 

Kageyama thought back for a moment, the cogs in his head slowly turning before it hit him. "Oh. Right, yeah." He whispered, his fingernails digging into soft palms just enough to leave crescent indents. 

The doctor took this as his cue to continue. "We imagine the pain from a high infection was what caused you to collapse. Plus, all the stress you may have been putting your body through, and the slight malnutrition wasn't helping your case at all. These factors are what eventually led to you feinting, and then... to the full amputation of your wing." 

"Oh." 

Kageyama was quiet at that. He didn't feel frozen or shocked, or as if he was about to burst into a fountain of uncontrollable tears. No- it was nothing like that, not at all. Kageyama wasn't a clueless child, and this wasn't an American drama. He knew exactly what he'd been putting himself through, at least at the back of his mind, and this... this outcome had been inevitable, in a way. 

Tobio was mainly shocked that this happened earlier. 

"Sorry, you said... wing? Did you not- did you not take both of them?" He asked quietly, a hint of confusion lacing his oddly soft tone. 

With a shake of his head, the doctor began speaking again to answer. "No. We- we were going to, it seemed like the right choice, after all. But... we wanted to give you a choice. Your left-wing was still somewhat healthy despite things, and only the right was so badly infected that most of it had already dropped off of your humerus. We couldn't have saved it even if we tried, I'm afraid. There was no reattachment available." 

Ah. That wasn't especially surprising either. Kageyama vaguely remembered seeing a broken wing against stark white tiles in the back of his mind, but he didn't really want to overthink it. It wasn't a very pleasant image. 

"Well... thank you." Tobio finally nodded, pulling away from his thoughts to look towards the young doctor. "I'll- I think I need some time to think about, uhm." He shrugged slightly, the movement eliciting a painful noise from his lips before he straightened out. "I need time." He repeated. 

The doctor nodded politely, turning to Coach Ukai for another second before leaving the room.

* * *

An extensive, overwhelming silence had begun to fill the hospital room. Ukai was staring intently down at Kageyama, while the younger setter did his best to avoid the blonde's worried (yet slightly angry) gaze. It was awkward and horrible, and Tobio felt as if his skin was being lightly stabbed over and over again. 

He felt sick- 

"Kageyama. I'm not- I'm not annoyed at you if that's what you're thinking." Keishin sighed softly, sounding both wise and reserved all at once. He pulled back from the bed to run his hands through his hair. "I'm just disappointed. Disappointed in myself, mainly. I had never realized how much you were hurting, and if I'd just seen the signs sooner rather than later..." 

Tobio's eyes widened. "No! - It's not your-!" 

"No, kid, it is." Ukai sighed as he looked down at the young volleyball player. "I'm your coach. I'm meant to be the one you can turn to for whatever reason, as unimportant it may be, and I haven't been that for you yet. I want to be, alright? I'm going to be there for you from now on as best as I can be. We all are." 

Keishin gave Tobio a little smile, letting the boy soak in his words for a few moments with a shocked expression. 

There was quiet for a few more moments before Kageyama spoke up; _"We?"_

Before Ukai could even begin to come up with a response, the door to the hospital room was flying open, and a blunder of kids was pouring in, chattering and speaking over one another as they seemed to gravitate towards Kageyama's bed. 

Ah, Ukai mused with a fond smile, taking his place next to Takeda. Perfect timing then, huh? 

Kageyama jolted slightly as Hinata pressed close to his face, his shorter wings flapping everywhere as he poked at the setter. "Dumbass! You're a dumbass, yamayama-kun!" He exclaimed loudly as Daichi did what he could to hold the energetic carrot-top back. 

Tobio just blinked owlishly, which only prompted Hinata into another squawking fit of false rage. 

A weight settling next to Kageyama's other side was what broke his intense staring contest with Hinata. Surprisingly, it was Tsukishima who had decided to sit down. 

"For once in my life, I have to say that Hinata is right." The blonde started with a hum, pushing his glasses up and pointedly ignoring the ginger's enraged blubbering. "You were a bit of a dumbass; certainly looked like one sprawled on the floor like that." He snorted. 

Kageyama blinked again, then, "You were the one who found me!?" 

Yamaguchi decided that it was his turn to butt in, and he popped up next to Tsukki. "No! That was me. I'd followed you to the bathroom-" ("That sounds really weird, Yamaguchi." "Sorry, Tsukki.") "-because I was worried about you, and then I saw you taking that binder off and your- your wing just dropped! Well, not all of it, obviously, but it was so scary! I thought you were going to turn into mush!" 

Tobio thought Tadashi's recollection of the whole thing was a little dramatic, and he certainly wasn't going to be turning to mush any time soon, but it did bring a chuckle from his lips. 

"Anyways, uhm- our screaming brought Tsukki first, and then the rest of the team, and then... Yeah." Yamaguchi finished with a slight shrug, his cheeks practically blazing from embarrassment and fluster as Tsukki began to criticize him. Tobio almost thought it was cute. _Almost._

"Well, thank you, Yamaguchi." The setter nodded slightly, almost feeling as if a weight was slowly being lifted from his chest. The normalness and the chattering were making him feel... light. He knew that the team would want answers; eventually, he knew there would be questions and accusations, and why's, why's, why's, but for now, this was good. It was nice. 

He let himself sink back into the soft pillows, a dull ache in his shoulders a constant reminder that he was still broken. He still needed to be fixed and put back together again. But at that moment, surrounded by his most precious teammates, Tobio felt at peace. 

They could figure out what to do together, step by step. For once, Kageyama felt as if it was all going to work out. With prosthetics and physical therapy and all the kindness in the world, it would be okay. 

And maybe one day, with his team and friends' help, he'd be able to spread his wings once again.

**Author's Note:**

> CC: [Curious Cat](https://curiouscat.me/rabiddogs)  
> Twitter: [Wilbyz](https://twitter.com/wiIbyz)


End file.
